The first few months were depressing. The year after was the best, and the last few months have been fun, a tad too much. I've gotten to the point where I'm ready to settle down though; I'm tired of not having a guy to ask me about my day or introduce me to something new. Tired of coming home at 2-3-4 in the morning, and not receiving a text/call asking where I am. Sure, it's easy to get out there, but that's not really my problem. My problem is that there are a bunch of clean-cut guys out there with their lives planned out, which is grand, but that's not the type of guy I want.
I want a Rock n'Roll boyfriend, a guy in tight jeans, who's a wreck and will not be afraid to put our lives in danger. I'm looking for a thrill, a specific type of thrill. It's hard to be excited about a guy when every gay around is into Lady Gaga, refers to themselves as a "little monster", and wants to keep up with the latest fashions. I want a guy that's into cock: CockSparrer, Cockney Rejects, and/or the Buzzcocks. I said "Rock n'Roll" but I think I mean punk. I want a punk boyfriend. Unfortunately for me, most of the gay punks are anarcho punks, and I can't stand anarcho, so what's a boy to do? Am I being too picky? Should I settle for less? The perfect guy is not around, I've travelled in many circles, from San Bernandino to the San Fernando Valley, and everything in between, and zip, nada.
As I'm getting older, should my standards get higher? Am I really getting wiser if my taste in guys remain the same? I'm getting confused, and lonelier by the second. I don't want to change my type, and I don't want to give a "monster" a try. I gave someone who wasn't my type a chance awhile ago, and that only lasted 2 days. I'll just settle on being alone, and let "Prince Charming" come to me. Irregardless, in the past, I've never had a problem waiting for a guy to come.
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